Goforth's Journal - Celebrate Portland Week

Goforth's Journal, a fellow Portlander's blog, is in the midst of "Celebrate Portland Week," and each day he is featuring the writing of a different Portland blogger.

Today's post is by me and is titled "The Adventures of Being a Man: Hiking the Trails through Portland's Diverse Terrain." I hope you enjoy it!

66 Books in 33 Days: Sprinting through God's Story

I recently completed a journey that covered quite a distance. As I drove around the Portland Metro area making deliveries, I also experienced Eden, the Exodus, David’s rule in Israel, Exile in Babylon, the coming of Messiah, and the spread of a small sect of passionate Jews throughout the known world.

How did I accomplish all this? Well, I wish I could tell you I was making my deliveries in a DeLorean, but our flux capacitor burned out a couple months ago. I also wasn’t reading my Bible while driving. I feel like that wouldn’t be the greatest witness when the cops question me about why I ran over an old lady at a crosswalk.

I decided to make use of all the driving time I have while I’m at work, and I invested in the ESV audiobible. I loaded it on my iPod and started to journey through scripture as I drove across Portland. I ended up listening to the whole thing in about six weeks. 33 days of actual listening to get through all 66 books of the Bible. I’m writing about it not to brag (it was super easy, just listening as I drove), but to share what it meant to me and what I learned from it. Several things about this new experience surprised me. I’ve read through the Bible several times, at least a couple of them being required reading for classes, but I’ve never listened to the Bible before. It was a radically different experience, one that I thought might be worth sharing. I probably won’t do it justice, but it’s worth a shot.

Listening to the Bible is like sitting at God’s feet and listening to him tell his story. Reading it is, of course, wonderful too, but hearing it really delivers in a wholly new way for me. While this is not the primary reason for my infatuation with listening to Bible, I love the fact that it is the way most of God’s people throughout the ages encountered Scripture before the last few hundred years.

Listening deprives me of my ability to stop and think about a word or phrase in isolation. Of course, meditating on a small passage has amazing benefits, but there is something about being forced to continue the thought process, about not being able to remove a sentence from its context that highlights new and powerful meaning. It also shows me how much of the Bible I haven’t totally mastered: a lot of it. Books like Matthew, for instance, are so familiar to me that I hardly even notice the details as I read, but when I’m inundated with a huge, unrelenting dose, I realize how much of it is super challenging and how much of it I don’t really know what to do with.

I began at the beginning.

Genesis proved a wondrous tale of faithfulness, intrigue, pain, and redemption. Moving quickly from creation to betrayal, promise and redemption, and with all the bumps in between, it’s an emotional roller coaster that really amazes me at the ridiculousness of how the heroes of faith choose to live and how immense is God’s patience and faithfulness for his children. Moving from there through the rest of Torah (Genesis-Deuteronomy) one might assume that listening to long lists of rules and genealogical records might be enough to make me want to drive into the Columbia, but instead, I found new beauty in it all. Reading each individual law in Leviticus can be overwhelming—or at least overwhelmingly boring—but quickly moving from one to the other allows you to hear God’s heart. When you encounter the body of what it looked like for Israel to obey God, you see his desire for purity, goodness, order, justice, and right relationships. He cared about his people and wanted their lives to be characterized by wholeness, not violence and betrayal of what should be loving relationships, not sickness and selfishness. The Law reveals God’s love.

Reading books that told the story of Israel further through history provided the opportunity to notice repetition. Listen really allowed me to hear when words, ideas, phrases, events came up over and over again. They caught my attention. I noticed in the prophets how much life and vitality was important to God. Ezekiel in particular is a shining beacon of life in the darkness of sin and death. God really wants to impart life in us, revivify us, taking us from the mundane and destructive and implanting something powerful and new in us that will carry us forward in passion in his grace.

You can't see the big picture without all the pieces, each telling its own story

 I also realized how much about Hebrew poetry and rhetoric I don’t get. I don’t know what to do with Proverbs as a whole. I thought I knew, but encountering it again (in one sitting) made me think about what I’m supposed to do with it.  The proverbs aren’t promises. In fact, they sometimes seem to suggest values that go against Jesus’ teaching.  Should we or shouldn’t we plan ahead, save, provide for our futures? Proverbs says ‘yes.’ It seems like Jesus says we should leave it to God and focus on more important things, like the kingdom of God.

What in the world is Song of Songs talking about? I don’t really know. Do you? Ecclesiastes? Are we supposed to ignore everything but the last chapter? Is there more in there we can learn from? Again, I have no idea.

So much of Hebrew style and technique is simply foreign. It’s just not how people write in current, Western culture. How do I read apocalyptic? There is nothing like it being written now. I’ve learned the basic characteristics: it’s written by communities under oppression, it’s symbolic of battles between good (God and his people) and evil (the oppressing rulers), it’s about struggle, it’s about hope of future liberation.

I don’t get it.  I know those things, and I could probably point out the recurring features in whatever text, but it doesn’t resonate with me. It doesn’t touch my soul. I wish I could connect with it, really understand it. Maybe some day I will.

In general, I’m a Hebrew Bible guy (which is why I say “Hebrew Bible” instead of “Old Testament”), but listening to large chunks really began to accentuate the patterns, the larger thought processes of the New Testament (Greek Bible?). I ended up listening to the epistles in a matter of two days. They are really short! The entirety of the New Testament took only about a week and a half, listening to about two and a half hours a day (weekdays only). It’s kinda amazing to hear what James has to say, and within the same half hour, to hear what Paul says about the same thing from a totally different perspective in Romans. It really provides a fullness and richness to these ideas that is almost impossible to pick up if you read a few verses here and a few there over the course of like five years.

I noticed this interesting occurrence because the repetition of words stood out to me so clearly:

“For we hold that one is justified by faith apart from works of the law” (Romans 3:28 ESV).

“You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone” (James 2:24 ESV).

Ha! What do you do with that? If you read them alone, not in the larger contexts of their books and the whole Bible, they sound entirely contradictory, don’t they? But since I listened to them both in their full contexts in the same day, it made complete sense. They work together beautifully, and if you take one without the other, you have a deficient view of what the Bible says.  This was one of the huge encounters I had that was so different of fulfilling about listening to the Bible rather than reading it.

I love the Bible, and I hope to be able to share some of that love with other people. I hope this post has been able to do that, at least a little bit. Maybe you won’t all go out and journey through the whole Bible in a month and a half like I did (not all of you have two to three hours a day to make use of like I do), but I hope you will at least think of the hard parts, the boring parts, the interesting parts, the stories, the letters, and I hope you will find some interest in encountering them and finding the value in them, whether it be by listening or reading, taking on large chunks or diving in to the details, or any way at all. I will continue to read and listen, both to the big picture and studying the minutiae, always expanding my understanding and encountering knew things, and I hope you do too. God has spoken to us, and it would be shame if we never took the time to find out what he said.

The Season of in Between

My spring semester ended two weeks ago, and with the birth of my first child coming up next month, I decided not to take classes this summer.  That means I have about four months without any school related responsibilities! Normally, my classes and homework consume a considerable portion of my time, so it is a welcome respite.

My issue now is not trying to fit in everything I have to do, but prioritizing the things I want to do.

How do I spend my summer in a way that allows me actually to take a break, relax, and recuperate but at the same, doesn’t just waste it?  I don’t really want the summer to end with the only things I accomplished being beating six Xbox games and watching eight TV shows beginning to end on Netflix.  What does it look like to use my time well during a summer break?

My wife always knows about the things I want to do.  I share them with her, to the point that I think she gets annoyed because I share endless aspirations and rarely actually do anything about them.  Unfortunately, I have so many things I want to do that actually doing them all would be impossible.  So how do I choose which ones to pursue?

I do want to play some games.  I do have a show or two I want to watch.  Mostly though, my hopes for the summer involve reading and writing. 

I have two books tumbling around in my head, one a novel and one non-fiction.  They are dying to come out and find life in the pages of a completed book.  It would be great if this could be the summer of their birth.  I’ve been thinking about the non-fiction book and talking a lot about it with my partner in crime, Aaron.  I’m hoping since it’s team effort, having the sense of accountability will motivate me actually to make progress on it.  I’m pretty excited about it.  The next step, I think, is to do some interviews.  It’ll be fun.

As far as reading, my list is about a mile long and keeps getting longer.  I have plenty of time for reading now, though.  I read every day on the bus to and from work, and I listen to books on my iPod while I work, so I’ve been getting through about three books per week that way, not counting any reading I do at home.  Right now I’m listening to Desiring God by John Piper, reading The Finale by Calvin Miller on the bus, and reading Love Wins by Rob Bell at home.  It’s a great time to be a reader.

I also want to spend time with my wife, friends, and dad and sister, and I want to be prepared for our baby.  I might even start exercising (but I’m not holding my breath on that one…).

I just hope I can get into the mode of making progress in all those areas without feeling stressed and stretching myself too thin, as if I weren’t taking a break.  That’s a challenge.  I tend either to overload myself with responsibilities and projects or slip into a sluglike pattern of laziness and apathy.  Neither state is super fun for very long, so I really need to get that balance right. 

Anyone out there have the magic formula to help me get it just right?

The One Where Love is Always Self-interested

It’s been a long time, but I remember high school discussions about whether altruism is possible.  We wrestled with the question of “Is it really possible to do anything without being motivated by self-interest?”  There is an episode of Friends that deals with it as well.  Phoebe wants to believe it with all her might, and she spends the episode trying to discover a way to make it work.  She finally stumbles on donating money to PBS, which she hates, and simultaneously gets Joey on TV by doing so.  She thinks she has finally done something that does  not benefit her in any way and is quite pleased about it.  Joey points out that she is gaining pleasure from doing a totally selfless act, and therefore, is gaining something by it. 

So the question is “Can we ever do something good and/or loving for someone else without ANY self-interest, without gaining anything at all by it?”

I can take care of my pregnant wife, doing things like rubbing her feet, bringing her drinks of water, doing chores, staying with her when she is sick.  None of those things are directly beneficial to me, so is that altruism? No, probably not, for each of those things reinforces her love, strengthens our relationship, and if nothing else, allows me to spend time with her.  I definitely gain from anything good I do for my wife.

What if I do something for a stranger?

I can give money to someone who asks for it, or buy a meal from the grocery store for the guy sitting outside, or donate to a charitable cause.  I can volunteer to serve food at the Rescue Mission.  I am now sacrificing time and money to help a person I don’t even know.  Surely that must be altruistic, completely selfless.  Alas, I gain recognition for doing selfless acts.  I may even gain social benefits by talking with them and interacting with them and finding a little of who they are.  I benefit.

What if I help someone anonymously?

What if I send cash to someone who needs it anonymously, or I drop money in a donation box, or do any number of things that would help someone else, but no one would know I did anything?  I still find satisfaction in knowing I did something good.  I gain.

We can up the ante a little bit and concede, ‘ok, I can’t do anything selflessly, but what about Jesus?’ What of his crucifixion?  Surely, Jesus, the perfect god-man, must have been capable of completely selfless action.

Picture the garden at Gethsemane.  Jesus is there, desperately wanting the support of his disciples (which he doesn’t get because they keep falling asleep) and falling to his knees, pleading to the Father to take away the wrath he is about to receive.  He asked that if there were ANY other way, God would show it to him, but since there was no other, he would do God’s will.  Luke describes him as being in agony over what was about to come.  His mental anguish was so great he needed an angel to comfort him and he began to sweat drops of blood.  Surely, he got no pleasure from his sacrifice, no gain by his death.

But really, there are two problems with this example.  The first is this: “Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb 12:2).  Notice the phrase “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross.”  Jesus allowed himself to be killed because it would bring him joy! I don’t think the suffering itself was high on his list of favorite things, but he knew the results would bring him joy.  His motivation was not altruistic at all!

The second problem is that his saving work allowed his children access to him; it allowed millions of people to know and love him, establishing relationships with him.  Again, he experiences good because of the good he did for us.

So, really, is completely selfless good, pure altruism, something we would even want?  If the only perfect human who ever lived couldn’t pull it off, is it really a good thing to be entirely disinterested in the good you do?

Ask your loved ones.

I think a simple question to my wife would reveal very quickly what she would think about it.  What if I only told my wife I love her because it would make her feel good.  What if I only give her gifts because she wants them.  If I find no happiness in her presence, no genuine joy at her touch, but I only spend time with her because she wants it, would she appreciate it?  I think not.  She would be hurt that I did it mechanically, not out of my own love for her, my own emotional desire to be with her and please her.  True love rejoices at others’ joy.  True love finds pleasure in pleasing others.  True love finds no cost too great in order to bring good to the objects of its affection.  True love, while not merely self-interested, finds great gain in providing benefit to others.

Remember, when Jesus commands us to love one another as the second part of the greatest commandment, he does not say “Love your neighbor and deny yourself.”  He says “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  The two are not mutually exclusive.  They are necessary pairs in the endeavor to spread love. 

Going back to the original question, “Can we ever do something good and/or loving for someone else without ANY self-interest, without gaining anything at all by it?” I would have to say the answer is “no.” But that isn’t something to mourn, as if humanity has failed, and no real love can be known.  We can rejoice that true love is beneficial for everyone involved, even when we sacrifice, and especially when it is grounded in the only pure source of love, God himself.

Grieving for Bin Laden: Why the Death of a Terrorist is a Cosmic Tragedy

As I encounter almost endless commentary about the recent demise of the mastermind behind thousands of deaths, having watched Obama’s announcement, and seen footage of mass celebration outside the Whitehouse, the uneasiness in my soul continues to grow. 

Osama bin Laden deserved to die. He was a twisted, evil man, darkened by unimaginable sin and marred by diabolical hatred.  His death is a victory for justice.

Yet I mourn for him.

God’s precious child, whom he knew as he formed him in the womb, has perished.  Even more, as far as we know, he is now eternally separated from his Father, condemned to suffer forever.

He deserved his fate.

But that fact makes it no less tragic.  His death and what it entails are the grim conclusion to his abominable life.  A man that was created in God’s image spent his years steeped in violence, hatred, suffering, fear, and pride.  If anyone in our lifetime has been characterized by sin and death, he fits the bill.  That, too, is something to mourn.  A man that was created to represent God on earth dedicated himself to assaulting God’s character and creation, demolishing the light within himself and snuffing out thousands of other people who were all dim reflections of their maker.

The truth is I deserve that fate as well.  You do too.  Every one of us has committed violence against God’s creation and terrorized the beauty of God’s divine nature residing in us.  But God chooses moment by moment to spare me and you, not because we deserve to live or have the right to breathe, but because he is merciful and filled with grace and compassion.  We still live because he is love.

He is also absolutely holy, and at some point, everyone who is characterized by the evil will die.  We should praise God that he has given us a way to receive his own goodness and set aside the evil and injustice we have taken upon ourselves.  He does this, too, because his is love.

And because he is love, he wants all of us to make this choice, and I believe he mourns for everyone who reaches the end and remains bound by the chains of his own evil, choosing eternal death, separation from our Father and everlasting suffering.

Death is the ultimate enemy conquered by Christ, and it is a cosmic tragedy when it claims a victim, regardless of how deserving.

I believe because God is love, he even mourns for Osama bin Laden, and though we can be grateful he no longer can harm anyone else, we should be careful not to rejoice at the things that make God grieve.

EDIT:
As I interacted with someone on Facebook about this a little more, I realized I should probably nuance this a bit. The reason I wrote this blog was in reaction to all the people out there who are unrestrainedly excited that someone just died. At the same time, I don't want to be one-sided either. Justice is a good thing.  As an attempt to balance what I am saying, here is some of what I said on Facebook in that conversation:

"I have to acknowledge that God also loves justice. And part of that justice involves protecting his other children from the ones who are violent and hateful. And, ultimately, that justice leads to the death of those who refuse to turn to him. I can praise God that he has protected those who would have been harmed if Bin Laden continued to live, and I can praise him that he has acted according to his perfect nature and character.

I think the short version is that I mourn for the man, but I can rejoice in God's justice, which is good, for God is good."